Interview with Hanna Theorin

For those who may not know you already, please start by telling us a bit about yourself and why you started with IVF treatments?

My name is Hanna Theorin, I’m 30 years old and I live in Småland, in Sweden, with my fiancé Kevin, who is 32, and our daughter Lara, who is 1 year old. When we started trying to have children, I never thought we would have to go through IVF. I was a bit naive, thinking that it would be very easy to get pregnant after trying for a little while. But after over 3 years of actively trying, losing a baby during pregnancy, and going through a miscarriage, we felt that we needed to do an infertility evaluation so we booked an appointment with a doctor.

That’s where our journey began. They couldn’t find anything wrong with either me or my fiancé, other than the fact that I don’t ovulate every month. So I was put on ovulation-stimulating medication. After 6 months, I was ovulating each month with the help of medication, but nothing happened. That’s when we were referred to start our IVF treatment.

What were your initial feelings when you realized that you needed to start IVF?

To be honest, my feelings were more positive when we got the news that we could start IVF. I thought now we would finally get help. I did not realize or know that it would be such a demanding process, both physically and mentally, and that it wouldn’t be as easy as "do IVF and boom you have your child."

Which parts of the IVF process were the hardest for you, both mentally and physically?

The reality is not like that for everyone. Many struggle for years, going through IVF process after IVF process, various investigations, failures, and miscarriages. That’s exactly what happened to us. The hardest part of the whole process for me has been the uncertainty. Not knowing if we will ever reach our goal. At the same time, you’re constantly full of hormones, and your body is physically going crazy as well. It felt like we were constantly stuck in the same place. Two steps forward, and hope rises, but it always ends with us taking seven steps back. That’s how it felt. After each failure or miscarriage we went through, it felt like that’s all we would ever reach, but we always ended up back at square one in the end. Never getting further and reaching that goal. It became our everyday life, and our entire personality screamed IVF, infertility, failure, injections.

How have your relationships with your partner, family, friends, etc., been affected by IVF?

Of course, a relationship is affected in one way or another when you go through something like this. Both are striving for the same goal but trying to get there in different ways. One person’s body is constantly running high on hormones, having to go through all the tests, ultrasounds, egg retrievals, transfers. And the other is standing by, trying to be the best support during all of this, but is also going through the exact same thing mentally. It’s tough.

But at the same time, you know deep down that you both want the same thing. That beloved little child, but the road there is very bumpy, so we tried to keep up with the bumps, twists and turns and hold each other tightly along the way, fighting together, as a team.

Our families have supported us the whole way and in the best way they could. But I also completely understand that it’s not easy for outsiders to know how to react, what to say, or how to behave. It’s a very difficult and fragile situation to be in, so for us, it was just nice to know that they were there and listened when we needed them.

Is there any misunderstanding or comment that has been especially difficult for you to handle?

There are many comments that are incredibly tough to hear when you’re in the middle of it. For example, "Why don’t you just adopt?" or "Just relax, and it will happen."

Is there something you wish people who aren’t going through IVF and infertility understood more about?

I wish that people who have no idea why a person or couple is going through IVF, or who clearly haven’t been through it themselves and don’t know what it’s like, would refrain from commenting. I wish more people could at least try to understand that infertility really exists. Some people always think it’s so easy to get out of it by just doing this or that, but those going through it have surely already looked into EVERYTHING that could have been an option for them. Just as certain treatments work for one person but not another. We are different individuals, have different issues, and need different treatments.

Has it always been obvious to you to share your journey on social media and with your loved ones?

It was absolutely not obvious to share our IVF journey on social media. When we were about to start IVF, my dad was on his deathbed, and there was so much to handle at once that I felt like I needed somewhere to vent. So I first started a blog, but quickly realized that it wasn’t for me at all. Instagram felt more personal, and you could update in the feed and also "in real life" on stories, so I turned it into my open diary. Before I started sharing, I tried to find others who had gone through the same journey and found very few. A couple on YouTube shared their story. It was so comforting to follow another couple in video format who were going through the same thing. It helped me feel more prepared in a way. That’s when I decided I also wanted to film our first IVF round for YouTube, mainly so I could look back at it myself, but also so that someone else who is going through or about to go through the same thing could watch and see how it went for someone else. My intention or goal was never to work with social media, but for someone else to feel less alone as they go through the same thing. If I could be one of those people who still wanted to share our journey and help someone else feel less alone, then I felt like I had succeeded with what I initially wanted.

Time passed, and quickly followers started coming in on Instagram who wanted to follow our journey, and others who were going through or would go through IVF, infertility, miscarriage, etc. It felt like we became a little family. We shared experiences, thoughts, and feelings with each other. You can’t get more personal than sharing your entire IVF journey, but I started sharing more of my life in general.

I was studying to become a healthcare assistant at the time and shared more of my everyday life. It seemed to be appreciated and has been appreciated since then. Just showing a little reality. That’s how it’s been, and here we are now. More thankful than ever!

What advice would you give to someone going through infertility or just starting their IVF journey?

 •  Allow yourself to feel all the emotions you’re feeling.

 •  Set small milestones along the way as thinking too far ahead and about everything can often become overwhelming.

 •  Talk to those you can find strength from and those who are willing to listen.

 •  Do things that make you feel good during the journey.

 •  There are no stupid questions when you meet your healthcare professionals at the IVF clinic.

I hear you.

I see you.

I’m with you.

You can follow @hannatheorin and her journey here: